


Clusterfucked

by orphan_account



Series: BorderVerse AU [5]
Category: Borderlands (Video Games), Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Crack Crossover, Crossover, Crossover Pairings, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Gun Violence, Implied/Referenced Torture, Torture, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-18
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2019-02-22 23:22:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13177374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Peridot Facet-2FCL Cut-5XG is the primary technician assigned by Yellow Diamond herself, to oversee the final stages of the Cluster’s gestation.Trapped on Pandora, a primitive failed Homeworld Colony with the Cluster's emergence growing ever closer, and fleeing from a group of Gem rebels known as the Crystal Gems,She has joined forces with the Hyperion Corporation's CEO, Handsome Jack to not only handle the Crystal Gems but to complete her duty and survive the Cluster's emergence.(Steven Universe & Borderlands Crossover AU)





	Clusterfucked

_**Close Your Eyes (And Count To Fuck)** _

Looking up as the doors to the small, impersonal opened, the green skinned gem let out a groan of disgust as she saw that the carbon based lifeform, the “Nisha”, had returned yet again to perform it’s rudimentary and incredibly laughable attempts of “tor-tur” and interrogation. Removing the metallic projectile blaster from it’s holster, which of course was incredibly laughable, especially compared to the cutting edge technology of Er-

An explosion of pain ripped through her form, as the Nisha used the handle of her blaster, as crude bludgeon, leaving large discolored marks on the exposed sections of her form.

Holstering her pistol, Nisha cracked a smile, despite her initial worries that this, “certified kindergartener” would take a few blows and then poof, leaving her robot enhancements and her triangle shaped gem on the seat of the chair but nope, the little green freak took everything she had done in stride. As the saying went she took a lickin' and kept on tickin'. Stars! Nisha had tortured bandit chiefs who were KNOWN for their masochistic tendencies, who could barely, and she was using that word loosely, handle half of what she had done to this big mouth, over the course of the past week.

“I am Era 2 peridot, certified in kindergarten production, you moronic NISHA! I have been involved in gem placement misha-“

“Stars! Will you shut the fuck up!” Nisha roared, ripping her pistol from it’s holster and then proceeded to ram it’s barrel down the green skinned gem's throat mid-sentence.

The gem growled in frustration, at the Nisha's callous show of disrespect for her criticisms with it’s interrogation technique. Ignoring the bitter metallic taste on her secondary sense sponge, that rested in her sound cavity, she attempted for the umpteenth time to activate her limb enhancers, which were bound to the armrests of the chair. Thick beads of sweat formed on her forehead, as she concentrated on a single word in her mind. A simple word that every Era 2 peridot had ingrained in their gemetic code.

**_Activate._ **

**_Activate immediately._ **

**_Limb enhancers activate._ **

**_ACTIVATE! YOU STARS FORSAKEN OFF-COLOR GARBAGE!_ **

The thick beads of sweat began to run down her forehead, dripping into vision spheres, making her lose her concentration as she rapidly blinked, before she heard the rudimentary blaster that the “Nisha” used, click. Her entire body stiffened as she realized, that even though she was a peridot, a blast inside of her sound cavity could at worst case cause her form's destabilization or in the loosest form of the best case, cause her a great deal discomfort.

“What did I say about trying to turn them on?” Nisha questioned Peridot, who glared at her in return.  
  
The “Nisha” reminded her of Jasper, or any quartz soldiers she had encountered in the past, moronic brutes with little to no ability for critical thou-

“Nisha, babe, is that anyway to treat our guest?” A voice inquired out of view of Peridot’s vision spheres.

“You think you could do better?” Nisha questioned as she slowly released the pistol's hammer.

  
“No, not at all babe.” The voice replied in a tone that despite sounding genuinely sincere, sent a cold shiver through Peridot’s form, “I just wanna know if Peridot facet 2FCL cut 5,” A loud snicker interrupted the voice, as a tall not-Nisha stepped in Peridot’s view, “cut 5X, heh, cut 5X, sorry I can’t do this. Stars that name is fucking terrible!” The not-Nisha laughed, kneeling over to grip it’s sides, an unnerving facial expression filling it’s, well, unnerving and rather unusual choice in facial cover.

“You done?” The Nisha questioned, giving the not-Nisha a very irritated look, as it removed the barrel of the blaster from her sound cavity.

The not-Nisha laughed for approximately a minute longer then straightened it’s form and nodded simply as it stood in front of her, it’s cold blue and green vision spheres locked with her’s.

“Why did Yellow send you, Peridot?” The not-Nisha inquired, “Does it have to do with the Vault of the Warrior?” The inky black centers' of it’s vision spheres expanded immensely at the mention of the “warrior vault”, unnerving Peridot slightly, “Or is related to this, ALL POWERFUL!” It spat throwing up it’s touch stump bases in the air before wiggling it’s touch stumps around, “Geo-weapon that is inside Pandora's core? I believe Blue called it, a Cluster.”

Peridot was flabbergasted, how was it possible that this primitive and rather unsettling, not-Nisha, possessed knowledge about the Cluster.

“Because, if it’s related to that ticking time bomb underneath our feet, YOU might actually be of some use to me.” The not-Nisha sneered, bearing it’s nutrition mashers to her, “If not. Well, Nisha, harvest her.” It ordered, waving it’s touch stump base dismissively, as if it were an agate or… a Diamond.

While she doubted that these primitive life forms truly had the advanced technology to actually harvest her gem, they possessed some knowledge about the Cluster, which could help her complete the task she had been given and quite possibly escape this failed colony before it’s gestation period came to an end.

“Yes, I Peridot, Facet-2FCL Cut-5XG, am the primary technician assigned by Yellow Diamond herself, to oversee the final stages of the Cluster’s gestation.” She stated confidently, ignoring the pit that was metaphorically forming with her gem.

“Good.” The not-Nisha replied, “I’m Jack. Handsome, Jack.”


End file.
